Wes and I found out we were expecting our 2nd baby in September of 2010. We were beyond excited to expand our family and for our toddler son to be a big brother! The pregnancy was picture perfect up until our anatomy scan during my 23rd week of pregnancy. That’s when it all changed for us. We were so excited to find out the sex of our baby. We had our ultrasound and most things looked great: strong heartbeat, brain, spine... except my amniotic fluid was very low so the ultrasound technician couldn't tell us the sex of the baby. She then told us we could go into a room and wait on the doctor, as we had an appointment that day as well. During the appointment we were told that the low fluid was a concern, but that it could mean a few different things. We tried not to panic, but that is easier said than done. Long story short, we were sent immediately to a specialist for another ultrasound. Things started to spiral out of control from there. We soon learned that our baby had a fatal condition called bilateral renal agenisis (BRA), sometimes referred to as Potter's Syndrome...meaning he or she never developed kidneys, which explained the low fluid. The condition happens in 1 out of every 4,000 pregnancies.
Over the next few weeks, we struggled to grasp and process the information we were given. We can't explain the emotions and hurt we felt when we learned the child I was carrying would never come home with us. The specialist informed us that we had some decisions to make concerning the pregnancy. These included terminating the pregnancy immediately or carrying the baby. I think all along in our hearts we knew the answer but we couldn't wrap our mind around the reality. How could I continue to grow every day and feel our baby kick and move knowing I would never get to bring him home? How will I react to strangers asking me when I'm due, what's the sex of the baby, etc? We decided to continue the pregnancy. We obviously prayed for God to heal, but we also had to prepare ourselves for the reality of the situation. The miracle we prayed for was to have a moment with him, even if it was just a few minutes, at the birth. As painful as it is, we knew God had a specific plan for this baby and we left it in His hands...
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. -Psalm 139:13-15
Christian was born via elective c-section at 10:40 am on Tuesday, April 26th, 2011. He weighed 4 lbs 3.3 ounces and was 17 ½ inches long. He looked so much like his big brother Chase, but he had dark hair like Mommy. :) We were blessed with two and a half hours with him before he left our arms and went to be with Jesus. We miss him every day and have faith in knowing we will be reunited with him one day in heaven. All he knew was love!